Modern Wedding Invitation Etiquette Couples Need to Know
By Caitlin Hoare
Modern wedding invitation etiquette has moved beyond the traditional route of formal paper invites sent by the bride’s parents, offering couples flexibility to express their personal style through digital or printed suites (or both). Key considerations include balancing pros and cons of digital (cost-effective, eco-friendly) and paper (classic, more formal) invites, clarifying details like plus-ones and whether children are invited, and sending out information on time—save-the-dates ideally 6–12 months ahead, with formal invites following 2–3 months before the wedding. Wording can be as traditional or casual as you like, as long as it clearly communicates the essential event details. Above all, modern etiquette hinges on clear communication, making a custom wedding website invaluable for sharing extra information, managing RSVPs seamlessly, and ensuring guests have everything they need well in advance.
Wedding invitations have come a long way from the traditional, formal stationery sent by the bride’s parents. Today, couples have more freedom than ever to tailor their invitations to suit their style—whether that means chic digital invites, printed suites, or a mix of both. But with so many options, plus the logistics of plus-ones, kids, and RSVPs, navigating modern wedding invitation etiquette can feel overwhelming. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the essential do’s and don’ts of wedding invites, from wording and timing to guest list management, ensuring your invitations set the perfect tone for your big day.
Remember the good old days when wedding invitations were sent out by the bride’s parents? Well, times have changed, and there’s a whole new set of rules to wrap your head around when it comes to modern wedding invitation etiquette!
Whether you’re getting married at a swanky country club or having a simple registry office ceremony, there’s one thing you’ll definitely have to do as part of the wedding planning process, and that’s sending out wedding invitations. Getting to grips with the etiquette of wedding invitations can seem like learning a foreign language, but don’t worry - we’re here to hold your hand and guide you through the process!
Digital or Printed Wedding Invitations?
Traditionalists will argue that a printed wedding invitation suite is non-negotiable. Still, the truth is that there are pros and cons to both paper and digital wedding invites, and digital invites aren’t the faux pas they used to be. Paper invitations not only cost more upfront but require you to get addresses for everyone, and postage can be pricey! On the other hand, digital invitations might cost less and have a smaller carbon footprint, but there’s always a chance of your invite going straight to spam! A good compromise is sending digital save the dates, asking your guests to confirm their postal addresses via your wedding website at the same time, and then sending paper invitations at a later date.
Modern wedding invitation wording
While traditional phrasing is still popular with many couples, you might prefer to say, “Together with their families [insert your names] invite you to celebrate their wedding” rather than having the bride’s parents invite everyone. And if that’s still way too formal for you, the good news is that the rules are much more relaxed than they used to be - essentially, as long as you’re communicating who is getting married, the wedding location, date and timings, then you’re all good!
When to send wedding invitations?
So you’ve got your wedding guest list sorted, your wedding stationery designed, and your custom wedding website all set to go. There’s only one thing left to do, and that’s to actually send your invitations! Ideally, you should send save-the-dates out 6-12 months ahead of the wedding date - the more time, the better, especially if you're planning a destination wedding or if your wedding is during peak season - ideally, you don’t want half your guests to have already committed to other weddings!
Follow up your save-the-dates with your actual wedding invites 2-3 months before the wedding, and don’t forget to include a deadline for guests to RSVP - this will hopefully mean you have to do less chasing!
Communication is key
Traditionally, your wedding invitations are the place to communicate all the information your guests need to know ahead of your wedding, but gone are the days of squashing all that info into one envelope, complete with a printed map! Your wedding website is more than a place to collect RSVPs; it should be a one-stop information hub for your big day!
The last thing you want is to be fielding questions from confused guests in the run-up to the wedding, so it really pays to make sure all the information your friends and family need is right at their fingertips, from the wedding day timeline and locations to the dress code, gift registry details and local taxi numbers. Communication is key!
Managing plus ones and kids
It can be tricky to decide which guests get a plus-one - after all, you don’t want your friends and family to feel like there’s a hierarchy to your guest list! It can be helpful to set criteria for plus-ones - maybe they’re only for long-term relationships or only for family members. Whatever criteria you choose, be consistent with it - that way, you'll avoid any awkward conversations about why Uncle Neil got to bring his long-term girlfriend, but your Auntie Julie didn't get a plus-one for her new squeeze!
It’s a nice touch to name any plus-ones on the invitations, but if that’s not possible, then you can easily collect the names via your wedding website when your guests RSVP. If you don’t know their names, then you can always address the invite to “Joe Bloggs and guest”.
Kids can be great fun at a wedding, but their presence will mean that their parents are “on duty” - whether you decide to embrace a child-friendly wedding party or keep the fun for the grown-ups, communicate your choice clearly. If you’re going adult-only, then make sure you make it clear on your invitations and wedding website, as your friends will need to find a sitter for their kids!
Collecting wedding RSVPs
Even if you're sending traditional paper invitations, one thing you can say goodbye to (if you want to) is the RSVP card - we are now firmly in the era of the wedding website! When it comes to managing RSVPs, a custom wedding website will do all the hard work for you - you’ll be able to collect RSVPs for different parts of the wedding celebration, dietary requirements and accommodation choices - you can even get your guests to choose a song that’s guaranteed to get them on the dance floor after a few glasses of bubbly!
Modern wedding invitation etiquette might seem a bit overwhelming at first, but the good news is that it’s never been easier to invite people to your celebration and keep it stress-free! Whether you go for digital invites, traditional paper stationery, or a mix of both, the key is clear communication. Your invitations and wedding website should work together seamlessly to give your guests all the details they need, from the RSVP date to dress codes and everything in between. And don’t be afraid to let your personal style shine through in your wording and design - it’s your day, after all!