How to Include Guests Who Can’t Attend Your Wedding

From agonising over who gets an invitation, to receiving unexpected apologies from people who you really wanted to be there, your wedding guest list has to be one of the most emotionally challenging aspects of wedding planning. It doesn’t matter if you’re having a huge wedding with hundreds of guests or an intimate micro wedding; the sad truth is that not everyone you love will be able to attend your celebration.

Here’s the good news: just because someone can’t be there to celebrate with you, it doesn’t mean they can’t be a part of your big day! Whether you’ve chosen to have a limited guest list or you have guests who simply can’t make your wedding date, there are lots of ways to include absent loved ones in ways that make them feel special, connected, and very much included in your wedding day.

If you’re wondering how to bridge the gap and make sure no one feels left out, we're here with some handy hints and tips on how to include your nearest and dearest in your big day, even if they can’t be in the room with you.

Live Stream Your Ceremony

If the COVID-era showed us anything, it was the power of live streaming. Births, funerals and weddings were beamed around the globe, offering people a chance to be a part of the big milestone events they would have otherwise missed. Post-pandemic, live streaming is here to stay!

Have a chat with your wedding venue ahead of the big day to check the strength of the wifi in the ceremony location, and to let them know you’re planning a live stream. You never know - they might even have the equipment you need on site already.

Whilst live streaming doesn't necessarily need the professional touch, it can be worth asking your videographer whether they offer it as part of their package. If not, don't worry - this is the perfect task to delegate to one of the wedding party. It's not much more complicated than a video call!

Upsize the Other Wedding Events

If you’re having a small wedding or elopement, but would love the chance to celebrate on a bigger scale with more of your friends and family, then take a look at the other wedding events. Whether you go all-out on a big hen do or stag party with all your mates, invite all your friends and family to an engagement party, or celebrate your wedding informally afterwards with a post-wedding celebration, it doesn’t have to be all about the big day itself. We’ve even heard of some couples eloping and then surprising their loved ones with a “we’re married” party! There are no rules here - you do you!

Personalise the Little Details

In the case of a bereavement, some couples prefer to include their absent loved ones by adding a personal touch to the details of their wedding. Whilst it can be a great idea to display framed photos or a memory book, you don’t always have to make a big show of honouring those who can't be there, particularly if the reasons for their absence are painful or too raw.

From wearing your Grandpa’s watch or cufflinks, to walking down the aisle to your Granny’s favourite piece of music, there are so many lovely ways to subtly include your absent loved ones in your wedding day. You could incorporate favourite flowers, a meaningful reading or poem, or even serve up a cocktail they loved. These small things will mean the world to the people who knew them.

Prioritise Your Wedding Video and Photography

It goes without saying that if you really want to include your absent friends and family in your wedding day, then having an epic wedding video and a gallery that captures the true essence of your celebration is a must!

If your budget won’t stretch to both wedding photography and videography, then look for a photographer who offers a highlight video as part of their package. Alternatively, you could hire a wedding content creator to work alongside your photographer to capture footage of your wedding day for an easily shareable, mobile-friendly highlight video.

Host a Viewing Party

Want to relive all the emotion of the big day with those who couldn’t be there at the time? Once the dust has settled on your wedding celebrations, and you’ve received your wedding video or wedding photography gallery, why not host a viewing party?

A viewing party is a fun way to include your absent loved ones, and if you wait to watch your video or view your slideshow for the first time with them, it will make them feel extra special! Why not get your wedding outfits on, stock up on snacks, bring out the leftover bubbly and make a whole thing of it?!

Request video messages

The power of video doesn’t just go one way - whilst your wedding video or live stream is bound to delight your absent friends and family members, it won’t make their presence felt on your big day. Now that we live increasingly global lives, it’s not unusual for couples to include video messages from their guests abroad alongside their speeches, but this doesn’t have to be limited to those living in another country. Whatever the reason, your friends or family are unable to attend, why not ask each of them to record a short video message and task one of your bridal party or groomsmen with collating and editing them so that it’s a nice surprise for you on your wedding day?

When it comes to including those who can't be physically present for your special day, you really don't need to overthink things. For that really special person who can't be there - think your BFF who has just had a baby in the USA, or your Nonna who couldn't make the flight from Italy - something as simple as making time for a quick phone call on the day can be a lovely gesture that connects them to your celebration. The most important thing is that you enjoy the day in spite of the inevitable absences - we hope you'll take inspiration from these ideas and run with them!