How to Politely Say That Children Aren't Invited on Your Wedding Invitations

Choosing whether to have a child-friendly wedding can be a controversial topic, even nowadays. Whilst there’s no denying that kids can be super cute and hilariously funny, they can also be a bit of a distraction and can significantly bump up your guest numbers! Either way, this can often be a pretty sensitive subject, and you must approach it with caution when creating your wedding website and wedding invitations. After all, parents love their kids!

Deciding whether to accommodate children

There are a few factors you'll want to consider when deciding whether to include children in your guest list, ranging from restrictions at your wedding venue to having a tight budget or that you just want your wedding to be an adult-only affair. All of these are perfectly legitimate reasons to plan an adults-only wedding—it's your big day, after all, and you make the rules, so don't feel guilty!

It's not always as straightforward as deciding between child-free or child-friendly—you might want to include your nieces or nephews in your big day, or maybe you've got kids of your own! It can feel tricky to include some children but not others, but the key is to define your boundaries and stick to them, whether you decide to include babes-in-arms, the children of immediate family members, or no kids at all.

Planning an adults-only reception

If having a child-free wedding feels too much of an ask for whatever reason, then a good compromise is to have an adults-only reception. That way, you get to include everyone in your wedding ceremony, enjoy the cuteness overload that is a bunch of kids collecting confetti off the floor, and then party the night away without having to worry about little eyes and ears witnessing the fun!

An adults-only reception is often welcomed by parents, too, as it can be easier to find childcare for the evening than for a full day and night—plus, who wouldn't want a night off from the kids to really let their hair down?! It's wise to let your guests know as soon as possible that you're keeping your wedding child-free so that they can consider their options and arrange childcare if needs be.

How to let guests know your wedding is adult-only

As with everything wedding invitation-related, communication is key! When communicating with your guests, it's important to make it super clear whether or not children are invited to your celebration. Any grey areas may lead to parents assuming their little ones can come along. Here are a few ways to let your guests know otherwise:

Your wedding invitations

Your wedding invites are the first in-depth information about your wedding day that your guests will receive, so make it clear early on that your wedding is an adult-only affair. By all means, address the invitation to the adults only, but don't assume that this is obvious enough—you need to be explicit about the fact that children aren't invited!

Your wedding website

Your wedding website with RSVP is the place to share all the essential info about your special day. With a Say I do wedding website, only invited guests and their plus ones can RSVP, which should send a pretty clear message, but make sure you state clearly elsewhere on your wedding website that you aren't able to accommodate children.

Send them a personal message

Some people might be absolutely fine with ditching the kids for the day. Still, other parents might react with horrified disbelief at the news that you don't want little Hugo screaming throughout the ceremony. Therefore, a quick email or WhatsApp message can help smooth any ruffled feathers. You can assure them that whilst, of course, you love their child, if you make exceptions for them, then all hell will break loose!

How to politely request no children attend

It goes without saying that by planning an adult-only event, you run the risk of some guests not being able to attend, and this can be a sensitive issue, especially for new parents. Some couples choose to include newborns or babes-in-arms (i.e. babies that aren't walking yet) as they won't need a seat or a meal, but it's really up to you. Just don't be offended if some of your guests don't want to be away from their kids, especially if the wedding requires an overnight stay—that's their prerogative, just as having the wedding you've been dreaming of is yours!

Whatever rules you decide on, the key is to be consistent—where possible, the rule needs to apply to all wedding guests. There are so many ways to ask that no children attend your wedding, but here are a few of our faves: Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children—thank you for your understanding We will not be able to invite children to our wedding, but we hope that you will still be able to attend This is an adult occasion—due to budget/space limitations, we respectfully request no children As much as we would like children to attend, our budget only accommodates adult guests We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we are unable to accommodate children Please be aware that this is an adults-only celebration (except for children under 12 months) Due to guest number restrictions, we can only extend the invite to the children of close family/or our wedding party We are only able to accommodate the children of our wedding party We wish we could include all children but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family to join us

If you nail the firm but friendly tone, you should get a friendly, understanding response and a guest list full of parents ready for some uninhibited revelry!