14 Pre-wedding Planning Tips to Help You Stay Sane

First comes love, then comes marriage… well, before marriage comes the wedding planning. Eek!

It’s no secret that the wedding planning process can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming, to say the least, and hiring a wedding planner or coordinator to save the day just isn’t an option for everyone. But regardless of whether you have a bridal party bestie who's your right-hand woman or appreciate a little extra help via an wedding planning app, just know that it’s totally possible to succeed in planning your dream wedding. It just takes a bit of organisation and patience… lots of patience.

To help you kick off feeling confident and in control, we’re sharing the top 14 pre-wedding planning tips you should know before you begin. Trust us, following these will be a surefire way to reduce wedding planning stress, and before you know it, your loved ones will be hiring you to plan their big day!

1. Get a head start

The earlier you start planning, the more options you’ll have. Plus, you don’t want to deal with the stress of working out last-minute details. Since venues typically get booked up 9 months - 2 years in advance, consider if you’ll need a similar amount of time to plan your big day. Sometimes it’s nice to secure the date and get a big-ticket item like your venue in the bag; then, you can sit back and relax…for a little bit!

2. Know your legal requirements

Yes, legal stuff can be boring. No, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still super important! The two main documents you’ll need to consider are your marriage license and certificate. Your marriage actually won’t be official without them, so it helps to know what you need.

3. Note everything down before you forget

Your short-term memory only lasts between 5-9 seconds, so if you’ve come up with a brilliant idea, don’t store it in a sieve - make sure you’re popping everything down as you go. You could record a voice memo, write notepad entries on your phone or add your thoughts to a Google Doc (as long as you stick to storing all of your brain dumps in one place). There are a lot of details, logistics and important information to remember and record whilst planning a wedding, so we’d recommend getting a system in place as soon as you can.

4. Set a budget ASAP - and stick to it

Wedding budgets are one of the main factors in creating wedding-related stress, which is exactly why you should start earlier rather than later. Vendors come at a cost, but you’ll have way more options and more room to haggle if you start planning this in advance. If you’re unsure where to start planning a wedding budget, look back at our blog for lots of useful articles packed full of helpful tips.

5. Create a checklist

Your free wedding checklist available through Say I do - which should be closely linked to your wedding budget - covers everything you need to do in the lead-up to your wedding and on the day itself. Typically this will include confirming the guest list, music, dresses, rehearsal dinner, invites, photography and more. However, you might like to add additional checkboxes, which can help to personalise the list and ensure you won’t forget any important phone calls to make, reminders to chase people up or outstanding instalments to pay.

6. Lighten up on manual work

In wedding planning, technology is your best friend. There is a website, spreadsheet template or app out there for everything related to your wedding. So why not take some time to consider how you can take advantage of modern wedding tech to reduce your manual/paper workload?

7. Set an allowance for miscellaneous expenses

Leave a little room in your wedding funds for unexpected costs and bloopers: they’re bound to pop up! Think last-minute alterations, typos on invites, a hen party that gets just a little bit out of hand - whatever it may be, putting an extra 5-10% of your overall budget aside means you’ll be able to deal with any potential curveballs and keep your original budget intact.

8. Give your guests some space

Did you know there are recommendations out there for how much space the average wedding guest will need to take up? This is around 5 - 6 sq. feet per person for a cocktail party; for a seated dinner with long tables, this is 8 sq. feet per person, and for a seated dinner at round tables, it’s 12 sq. feet per person. Knowing this can help you lock in a venue or choose your seating plan based on your actual guest list size.

9. Set rules to avoid guest list bloat

While we’re on the subject of guests, most of us wouldn’t want a wedding full of distant friends, relatives or plus ones - so set some rules about your guest list etiquette and use them to guide your planning. For example, it’s typical for married, engaged and cohabiting guests to receive a plus one, but when it comes to the person your cousin has been dating for less than 6 months? Not so much.

10. Don’t expect perfection

You could have a perfect wedding dress, venue and cake, but that still doesn’t mean you’ll have the perfect wedding. Something could always go wrong because that’s life - but we always tell our couples to embrace it! Remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your unique love story with a group of people who support and care for you. No one will be looking back and commenting on how amazing the bonbonnieres were or how the seat covers looked.

11. Don’t compare your wedding to everyone else’s

Part of wanting perfection might stem from the fact that, at some point, you’ll find yourself comparing your wedding plans to others and feeling regretful or miserable about some of your choices. This is normal, but remember that everyone has a unique vision of their special day. You’re bringing YOUR vision to life - not theirs!

12. Have a backup plan

There’s a reason why they call a time of need or trouble ‘a rainy day’… it could literally rain during your wedding! If you’re having an outdoor wedding, you absolutely need to factor in a backup plan just in case the weather turns. In general, it’s also a good idea to keep backup vendors, dresses and that sort of thing in mind just in case your current options don’t work out.

13. Skip the traditions that don’t matter to you

Tradition is fine; in fact, it can be lovely to weave some meaningful wedding traditions into your wedding day, but it’s your choice which ones you want to go along with. You might not feel comfortable doing a first dance, matching your bridesmaids’ dresses or throwing the bouquet. And if that’s the case, take them off your to-do list. Doing away with the wedding traditions that don’t suit you is a liberating experience!

14. Remember you’re in a team

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you must plan every last detail of the wedding alone; not only will this shut out your fiancé from understanding how you feel, but it will make things ten times more stressful for you.

Even though it’s an incredibly busy, all-consuming time, don't forget about each other in the run-up to the wedding; keep those all-important date nights in the diary and talk about something other than wedding planning! Always remember that you and your partner are on the same team and there to support each other. Not forgetting the most important thing: communication, communication, communication!

In summary, it's your day!

It is yours and your partner's day, not anyone else's - please remember that! Don't get pushed into doing something neither of you really wants or likes. Start your wedding planning journey early so it can be an enjoyable experience where you end up ticking off tasks in a stress-free way. But ultimately, the wedding planning process should be fun, so by following the steps above, you'll be on track to throw the wedding party of the century!