The Ultimate Guide: Wedding Table and Seating Plans

We totally get it; sorting your table and seating plan might not feel like the most fun and exciting part of wedding planning. Where do you even start? Do you go for round tables, rectangular tables, feasting tables, or the top table? Where do you place your single friends and kids? What about divorced parents? Wondering where to begin with seating your ‘unique’ family and friends? Well, don’t panic; we’ve got you covered. You can and will get through it! Stay with us for a deep dive into how to tackle everything you need to know about nailing your wedding table and seating plan, plus much more.

First things first

There are a certain number of variables to keep in mind when you’re starting to plan your table layouts and seating plans, and these are as follows:

• Your number of guests: This will help you determine what sort of table layout you have. A small, intimate wedding might call for one long table where you can dine together, whereas for a party of 100+ guests, you’ll need separate tables
• The size of your venue: Again, this heavily depends on your guest count. Your venue will advise you on their room options and what will work for your guest list
• The shape of the tables: Speak to your venue about what options they have available when it comes to table shapes and sizes and if you can work with that. If not, you’ll need to consider hiring some, but of course, that will come with a price tag
• The layout of the room: Your venue should again be able to guide you on this one. What have other couples done previously that’s worked well? Ask to see a floor plan and photos of room layout options if you haven’t seen them already
• Your wedding theme: A three-course meal requires a very different table set-up compared to a street food truck, so whatever vibe you’re opting for, your table set-up should match
• Top table seating arrangement: This will depend on what style of wedding you’re having and if you want to stick to traditions by hosting a top table

Once you’ve figured out most of the above, you should have a bit more of an idea of what your options are and be able to start creating your seating chart.

Round tables vs. long tables

The table shape you choose is completely your call, depending on the venue space and what’s available. Long communal tables tend to give off a more relaxed banqueting atmosphere and are suited to a feasting or sharing menu. Whereas round or rectangular tables are more traditional and will offer a more intimate dining experience for all.

Sweetheart table vs. top table

A good place to start when thinking about your wedding seating chart is to decide where you and your partner want to sit. Do you want a traditional head table facing your guests where you can sit with your parents, best man, and bridal party? Or do you fancy a more relaxed approach and sit amongst your wedding guests? Or, why not soak it all in and enjoy a sweetheart table, just the two of you? After all, when is the next time your nearest and dearest will all be in the same room together?

Where to seat parents? What if they are divorced?

Traditional wedding etiquette states that the closer people are seated to the newlyweds, the more they are ‘honoured’. So, when it comes to assigning seats for your parents, treat them as VIPs! If you’re having a top table, then traditionally, both sets of parents would sit alongside you and your partner, but if you’ve decided against a top table, then it’s common to have a ‘family table’ where both sets of parents can sit with other close family members. Alternatively, you could suggest that each set of parents might like to host their own table with their family and friends.

When it comes to where to seat divorced parents, this will depend on how amicable their relationship is. If they are on talking terms, then by all means, sit them at the same table, and if they have new partners, seat them next to each other. But if the relationship is strained, you might feel more at ease not seating them together. You could sit them at two tables equally close to the head table, or, if you’re using long rows, sit them at opposite ends.

Consider assigning tables only (not seats)

If you feel like assigned seating isn’t for you, then an option could be to assign tables only. Therefore your guests are assigned to a particular table and can choose their own seat once they arrive. Assigning seats, tables, or both will require a table plan, which you should display clearly at the entrance of your wedding reception.

Alternatively, why not go rogue and have informal seating; letting your wedding party sit wherever they choose? However, this method might delay the transition in getting guests seated and, depending on your friends and family’s dynamics, might cause a little awkwardness that could be avoided if you’re utilising a carefully curated seating plan, taking into account any family politics. We would also recommend factoring in a few additional places because groups of friends and family will want to sit together and it’s unlikely that they’ll all find their perfect seat.

How to seat couples

It’s your call when it comes to deciding where to seat couples at a table. Whether you seat them side by side or opposite might depend on who you have at a table and who knows each other. The only rule to abide by is not to split couples up and put them on different tables - that can just be a bit awkward!

If you’re lost on where to start with friends of your parents, ask for advice from your parents as to where they should sit. They will be thrilled to be involved, which might keep them away from trying to control the seating chart as a whole.

How to seat single guests

As tempting as it may be to act as cupid for the day, don’t have a table just for the single guests. Instead, pepper your single friends in and around couples and married friends to make them feel at ease. There’s plenty of time for single friends to mingle before and after the sit-down meal.

Consider a kids’ table

A kids’ table is a great idea if you have enough younger children to attend. It’s recommended that this table be located close to where their parents are dining and/or away from the main group of tables but monitored by a childminder who can monitor and occupy them while everyone is eating and during the speeches. If they’re not too young, leave some colouring books and other games/activities on the table to keep them entertained during the meal.

Seating chart etiquette

• Give everyone enough space: No one likes being squashed, especially if it’s someone you’ve only met 10 minutes before! You need to think about leaving enough space for waiting staff to manoeuvre comfortably around the tables to serve food and drink
• Encourage mingling: Of course, seat your work friends, school friends, extended family, etc., at the same table, but it’s also nice to strike a healthy balance between existing friends and new acquaintances to encourage socialising
• Be mindful of any special requirements: Bear in mind if you have guests who may need more space or special access, such as elderly guests, guests with little ones needing a high chair, or wheelchair users
• The power of digital: Make the most of Say I do’s online seating planner. When guests start to RSVP online, they will appear within your Guest List Manager, and from there, you can drag and drop them into tables! Tables can be personalised, and you can enter how many people can fit around a table, and export your guest list with their table number for easy charting - pretty awesome, right?

Try not to sweat the small stuff!

Figuring out your table and wedding seating plan is no easy task, but at the end of the day, it’s only one part of your big day. There’s no doubt it might take a bit of time discussing your game plan, jigging around, and re-jigging again, but don’t lose any sleep over it; it will all come together, we promise! Just remember, as soon as the dance floor opens, any seating plan awkwardness will soon be forgotten!