The 6 types of guests you can cross off your wedding list right now

Working out who to invite to your wedding (and who not to) is one of the biggest dilemmas you’ll face during the planning stages.

Yes, close friends and family members are a no-brainer. But weddings have a way of bringing everybody from your past and present out of the woodwork for a possible invitation. Combine this with the average wedding cost per head, and it’s a lot to take in!

So if you want to preserve the quality of your wedding guest list and have it remain as affordable as possible, you’ll need to avoid guest list bloat and set the types of ground rules that could see you cutting your guest list by up to half. To help out, we’ve identified 7 types of people you can take off the list today:

1. The friend you haven’t seen in two years.

If you’ve fallen out or drifted apart from a friend, don’t treat your wedding as a chance to reconnect or patch things up. Weddings are not the time nor place to be restoring long lost friendships - you’ll be busy trying to mingle with everybody there, and any conversation the two of you have will be limited at best. Consider if you would rather have a one-on-one catch up beforehand instead, and from there decide if you still want to invite them.

2. The person your friend/relative has been dating for 5 minutes.

It’s traditional for married, cohabiting or engaged couples get a plus one. For all other types of plus ones, the rules are a little less clear. No matter what you decide, don’t feel obliged to invite plus-ones you’ve never met or barely know, especially if they’ve only been dating for less than 6 months or so. You don’t want to be looking back on your wedding photos one day and think “wait, who’s that person again?!”

3. The person who inherently causes drama.

While you’d expect guests to put their best foot forward at a wedding, some are more like ticking time bombs. There’s the friend who gets belligerent after 2.5 drinks, or the pervy uncle who’s practically got making unwanted advances down to an art… you get the idea. Consider: do you want to risk their behaviour at your wedding?

If they absolutely must attend, then let your bridal party or venue staff know in advance so they can help out should things go awry. You can also use some seating plan wizardry to make sure pervy uncle doesn’t get a vantage point of the whole room, or that unruly drunk friend sits veeerrryy far away from the bar.

4. The coworker that you wouldn’t hang out with if you didn’t work together.

It can be unclear at times where you stand exactly with some coworkers. Are you real friends? Do you see them outside of work? Would you disappear from each other’s lives if one of you quit?

Most of us only want to invite the colleagues whom we have long-lasting friendships with. Take a look at how much mutual interests or values you share outside of work with your colleague and let that contribute to your guest list decision. Sure, they might attend Friday night drinks with you religiously, but if all you have in common is work or work gossip… don’t feel too bad about not inviting them.

5. The person who tries to invite themselves to your wedding.

Inevitably, someone you weren’t planning to invite is going to hear of your engagement and start asking some rather pointed questions. When’s the wedding date, so they can write it down? When are you sending out invites?

While that can create a lot of awkward pressure for you, remember: some people are only asking for questions sake and don’t actually expect to be invited!

But for those who clearly think they’re attending (when they’re not), communicate with them respectfully and clear the air. Let them know that you made the personal decision to have a small wedding with only close friends/family - they should understand not to contest that.

6. The distant friends and relative(s) your parents are pushing to invite.

Unless your parents or in-laws have donated a fair amount of money to your wedding, the answer when they pressure you to invite distant friends and relatives should always be a flat-out “no”!

These groups are one of the biggest causes of guest list bloat, so be careful about opening up that floodgate (unless you’re prepared for your list to double). If these are the kinds of family friends or relatives who haven’t seen you in years, don’t remember what you even look like or what your fiance’s name is… be as firm as possible with your folks about keeping them off the list. Yes, they might think it’s policy or want to show you off to as many people as possible on the day, but that doesn’t mean they should get the final say.