What is a Humanist Wedding and Should I Have One?

If you're deep in the wedding planning process, the chances are you'll have probably heard the term ‘humanist wedding ceremony’ a fair bit, but what exactly is a humanist ceremony and why is it becoming one of the most popular non-traditional wedding options for modern engaged couples?

In this article, we'll explore the ins and outs of this up-and-coming form of celebrant-led wedding and delve into why you might want to opt for one.

So what exactly is a humanist wedding ceremony?

Simply put, a humanist wedding is a non-religious ceremony that is inclusive, flexible and personally tailored to you as a couple. Led by a humanist wedding celebrant, this type of bespoke ceremony has a reputation for being meaningful and intimate, and offers a way to get married without any religious content.

You’ve almost certainly attended either a religious wedding ceremony or a civil ceremony in a licensed property, both of which are legally binding. You are also probably familiar with the formalities of a legal ceremony – the vows, the structure, etc. Well, when it comes to a humanist wedding, the options are much more open and are constructed around the couple, not the other way around. Pretty much anything goes!

Is a humanist wedding legally recognised?

Currently, in many countries, the only non-religious way to get married with legal recognition is in a legal ceremony led by a registrar, whether that's in a register office or a venue that is licensed for marriage. If it's important to you that your legal registration takes place on the same day as your wedding celebration, then unfortunately, a humanist wedding won't be the right option for you.

The downside to traditional legal ceremonies is that they often take place in quite a strict environment, with very little room for creating a meaningful ceremony. You won't get to choose your registrar, and approval is needed on all content within the ceremony. There is zero flexibility on timings and, of course, the location, and all legal marriage ceremonies must take place on licensed property. It’s convenient, it’s common practice, and without thorough research, many couples believe this is the only option available to them.

Why choose a humanist ceremony?

Many couples choose a humanist wedding because it offers more ceremony options, and a way to share their love story their way. If you don't share any religious beliefs, a humanist celebration with a bespoke ceremony can be a lovely way to honour your special day!

Weddings led by a humanist celebrant can include a completely personalised wedding ceremony, including your own vows, readings, poems, stories, music and any rituals you choose, such as sand blending, lighting a unity candle, or planting a tree together. These additional, often deeply symbolic acts aren’t allowed during a legal wedding ceremony, where it's all about the ring exchange and the signing of the register in the presence of your two witnesses. If you love the idea of a meaningful ceremony that is at the heart and centre of your day, with rituals, music, and loving words from your family and friends, then a humanist wedding is definitely for you.

Where can you get married?

The beauty of any wedding with an independent celebrant is that it can happen wherever you want it to! Whether you're dreaming of a relaxed garden wedding with just a handful of guests or you want to get married on top of a mountain as the sun rises, the world is your oyster!

Finding a humanist celebrant

If you think a humanist wedding might be for you, the easiest place to look for a celebrant is a humanist celebrant directory - many countries have their own organisations that promote secular humanism and support non-religious people.

Once you've found the right celebrant for you, they will spend time getting to know you in the run up to your special day, both as individuals and as a couple, and will work closely with you to create a personal ceremony featuring all of your desired rituals, such as candle lighting, or blending coloured sand - you can really think outside the box, you don't have to do things the same way they've always been done!

Celebrating the essence of your marriage is another great reason to consider a humanist wedding, and could give the commitment made on your wedding day an even deeper meaning. Remember, though, this style of wedding ceremony isn’t legally binding, so if you go for this option but you still want to be a married couple in the eyes of the law then you do still need to do the legal bit at some point, whether that's before or after your wedding day. This can be a very simple step. You can officially seal the deal at your local registry office or Town Hall, with just a couple of people involved as witnesses. Or you might choose to invite a handful of family members and friends and go for an intimate meal afterwards to celebrate.

Although they might seem pretty similar at first, civil ceremonies and humanist weddings are, in fact, two quite different options. Not forgetting that, because a humanist wedding isn’t legal, it can take place anywhere. At your home, on a beach, or at any place that feels significant to you.

A humanist wedding, in its entirety, is focused on you, your love, and your story, so if you'd love to have a deeply personal wedding ceremony full of meaning and non-religious ritual, look no further!