Should You Have a Top Table at Your Wedding?

It might be one of the more longstanding wedding traditions, but are you struggling with the idea of a traditional top table at your celebration? Well, fear not! We have some alternative top table ideas that might just be perfect for you and your special day.

If you're having a traditional wedding day, the idea of a top table might sound lovely and romantic, with both families by your sides, emotional speeches, and champagne toasts. However, it may not always be that easy, especially if one of the family members has sadly passed away, you're wrangling divorced parents, or there's some other tricky family dynamics. We’re delighted to let you know that this feature addresses the question all couples consider when arranging their seating plan: ‘Should you have a top table at your wedding?’

The short answer is, ‘No, you don’t have to!’ Whilst the traditional top table might seem a standard part of the wedding reception, there are so many options available nowadays. Remember, everything about your special day is your choice and should align with your vision and vibe. We're all for breaking the mould and doing it your own way, especially if it's going to make for a more memorable occasion for you both.

Alternative top table ideas

Some modern wedding couples opt for an intimate sweetheart table – a small table for two, exclusively for the newlyweds. This could be a nice option for romantic souls, as it allows you to have a quiet moment to yourselves, catch up, and engage with each other properly before the dancing and evening reception begin. This option also lets your families do their own thing, while you can have the freedom to mingle around the other tables in the reception space between courses if you wish.

Another fun option that we’ve seen grow in popularity is for couples to leave a free seat on every table. This can be a great way to actively encourage your guests to move around the room and socialise with each other. It also means there’s a space for you and your partner to be free to chat with your friends from school, etc. or for other guests to meet new people too. Having fewer formalities could potentially lead to significantly less stress and a great deal of fun!

Celebrate with the bridal party

If you like the idea of having a top table, but just don't fancy sitting through three courses with your two families, then why not try mixing things up a bit?! Though traditionally the top table is reserved for the bride and groom and their immediate family, there are no rules to say that you can't switch out your parents for your BFFs!

Think about who you most want to spend your wedding breakfast with - you could have one big table with your bridesmaids and groomsmen, or a smaller top table with your best man and maid of honour - our advice is to go for whichever layout is going to be the most fun for you!

Ditch the wedding reception seating plan

Whilst your wedding planner might be all for a formal wedding seating chart’, a slightly more risky but nicely informal approach is to have no assigned seats at all. Not only does this allow your guests the freedom to sit where they like on your wedding day, it's also less work for you - just think, no table numbers, no place cards and no late nights hunched over the seating plan trying to make it all work!

If you're planning a slightly more relaxed celebration, this could be a great option for you - it pairs nicely with an informal wedding buffet or barbecue, and is perfect for those who love to work the room and thrive on introducing new people to one another. This type of seating allows everyone to feel relaxed, with the understanding that they are free to move about and socialise. The only caveat here would be to consider whether there is sufficient space for families and groups of friends to still sit together. Or maybe the idea of splitting them up is the appeal…!

Round or long tables?

Aside from the traditional ‘top table’, the next most popular table layout for a wedding breakfast would be for the couple to slot in at the same table as their guests, either on one long banqueting table or a configuration of round tables that doesn’t have a set ‘head of the table’. That way you can be in the thick of it and be surrounded by your wedding party members, either opposite or near you, which will also make your loved ones feel suitably included in your special day.

One thing to consider when evaluating alternative table arrangements is that without the top table, there may not be a focal point within the reception space. The only time this might become an issue is for your photographer or videographer during the speeches. If you want photos of the best man's hilarious speech and your reactions to it, consider ensuring you're seated together for this part of your celebration.

Whether you decide to go for a seating plan that includes a top table or not, remember - the choice really is yours. Whilst a top table provides a nice focal point for your reception, don’t feel you have to people-please, choose between parents, and/or leave people out. Trust us, you'll have a much less stressful and more enjoyable day if you stay true to yourselves and go with whichever seating plan you think will be right for you and your guests, or whichever you think works best for your wedding venue. This is just one small part of the wedding planning journey, so don't get too hung up on it - the most important thing is that you enjoy yourselves!