How To Begin Creating Your Wedding Guest List

How to Begin Creating Your Wedding Guest List

Are you putting off creating your guest list? Well, you're not alone. Many couples find this part of wedding planning pretty tricky to navigate. You need to figure out how many guests you can actually afford to invite and compile a guest list that won't offend anyone if you decide to leave anyone out. As you can probably already imagine, there are quite a few factors to consider before you can check this task off the list.

However, your guest list is a really important element of the wedding planning process and should be considered one of your top priorities. It affects many moving parts, including your budget, seating plan, catering, and venue selection. Don't forget that your wedding guest count includes the people who are going to play a part in creating one of the most memorable days of your life, so don't underestimate the power of the perfect guest list.

Stay with us as we break down the process and create the ultimate guide to creating your wedding guest list with minimum stress!

Create a draft guest list

A good place to start is compiling a wedding guest list spreadsheet that includes a list of everyone you'd love to have join you at your wedding. Make this your 'draft dream guest list'; from here, you can work backwards. Don't forget, you'll be trimming this down later, but take your time compiling this list so you don't forget anyone. Carve the necessary time out with your partner, sit down, and list everyone, starting with your closest family and friends through to more casual friends, work colleagues, and distant family.

You might want to create your list in this order:

• Immediate family -- parents, siblings, in-laws and grandparents

• Close friends -- close friends, think wedding party kind of close friends

• Extended family -- cousins, aunts and uncles

• Extended friends -- acquaintances, colleagues and family friends

Then factor in any guests' plus-ones and kids unless you've already decided to host a child-free wedding.

Now it's time to consider parents and parents-in-law (to be). If they are helping financially with the wedding bill, then traditionally, they'll have some influence over the final guest count. It is your day, of course, but if parents are helping out with covering some of the wedding costs, then it's correct etiquette that they have a bit of a say in the final guest list. Speak to both sides early on to find out what they are thinking and if they want to include any guests on the list that you might not have considered, and update your list based on their input.

Decide how many guests you can actually afford

OK, now that your guest list is drafted, it's time to work out how many guests you can actually afford to invite. Get some quotes from your venue and other suppliers to figure out a rough cost per head. Each person invited means you'll have to cover costs not only for food and drink but also for invitations, chairs, favours, and any other wedding extras you're crafting, so it might be useful to work out the cost of each of these as well.

After removing any non-guest related costs from your wedding budget (such as your photographer, celebrant, wedding dress, hair, and makeup), divide your remaining budget by your rough 'cost per head.' This should give you a good indication of how many guests you can realistically afford on your day.

Make sure you also check the capacity of the venue you've chosen. Some venues have limits on how many guests can fit into a space, especially when it comes to tables and chairs. Your venue will likely have different capacity numbers for a sit-down dinner compared to a cocktail style wedding. Therefore, if your guest list is on the larger side, you could consider a standing wedding to allow for more guests.

How many guests do you actually want?

Don't worry about money for a minute; consider how many people you want there with you on that day. If you're purposefully working on a small wedding guest list, you'll naturally aim for a cosy and intimate wedding vibe with just a handful of your best friends and family. Or if a large wedding guest list is expected, then perhaps your goal is to throw the ultimate party to remember with absolutely everyone you know and love.

Try to strike the ideal balance between the number of guests you can afford and the number of attendees you truly want for your wedding, using your budget and wedding vision as a guide. If you're having trouble coming up with a figure that fits both, it might be time to adjust your priorities.

For instance, you might want to reduce your wedding spending or delay your wedding date to give yourself more time to save if you want more guests than your budget will allow. It's doubtful that the number of guests on your draft guest list will exactly match the number of people you both want and can afford. It's time to review your draft list and start trimming!

Trim your guest list down

It's never simple removing anybody from your guest list, so you might want to start by thinking about the following:

• Have we had any interactions in the previous five years?

• Would I go and meet this person for a coffee with ease?

• Am I only including this person on my list out of obligation?

• Do I anticipate myself interacting with this person during the next five years?

Be critical without feeling obligated or guilty. This is your wedding day, so the people on your guest list should only be the people who mean the most to you.

In order to maintain fairness and be able to actually start the process of cutting down your choices, you may also wish to create some rules regarding children and plus ones. For instance, plus ones are only allowed for couples or are not permitted at all. Only family members and infants are allowed; no children.

You should be able to eliminate a good portion of your draft guest list with the help of these questions and guidelines, leaving you with a revised version that better fits your day's plans, venue, and budget!

Consider creating a backup list

Is there still a little wiggle room on your guest list? If so, you might want to make a backup guest list. When it comes to wedding invitations, this is a fairly standard procedure that essentially lets you prioritise your list so that, in the event that any RSVPs are denied, you can send out a second round of invites.

Go over your draft guest list and separate it into your non-negotiable list (closest friends and family) and your backup list (people you'd ideally love to have there, but it's not absolutely crucial). Your non-negotiable list gets first priority when it comes to sending your wedding invitations.

Now, you don't want your backup list to know that they were on the second-best list, so consider your invitation etiquette. You'll want to send your first round of invitations to your non-negotiables a little earlier than usual. This will allow responses to filter in over the next couple of weeks, giving you a better indication of numbers.

Then, send your backup invitations at the 6-8-week mark, depending on the responses you've received from your first round. Try to organise your backup list according to priority so you can easily see who's next in line for an invitation, pending any declined RSVPs.

Stick to it!

Last but not least, when you've made your guest list and sent out your invitations, stick to it! If you're not careful, saying "yes" to an additional guest here and there could completely ruin your budget.

The situation will arise where someone will ask for a plus one. But if you've agreed on a rule to not allow plus ones, be upfront and honest and let them know. Although it might feel a little awkward, most guests will respect the cost associated with weddings and understand your decision. To prevent any embarrassment, you might want to make these expectations clear from the off via your wedding website.