The Best Ways to Honour Loved Ones Who Can’t Be at Your Wedding
Weddings are a time for joy, but they can also highlight the absence of those we wish could be there to celebrate with us. Whether you're missing a parent, grandparent, or a dear friend, there are many heartfelt and meaningful ways to honour their memory on your big day. From subtle nods to more visible tributes, this guide shares thoughtful ideas for including your loved ones who can’t be present - ensuring they’re still a cherished part of your celebration.
Your wedding is a time for all your nearest and dearest to come together and celebrate your love for one another, but it's a sad fact that most couples will have at least one or two loved ones who can't be at their wedding. If you're getting married, you might be wondering how to include those special people who can't be with you on the day - should you incorporate photos of them, include them in your speeches, or even leave an empty chair in their memory? There are so many ways to approach this sensitive subject, so we're here to help you decide how to honour those absent loved ones at your wedding.
Why honour absent loved ones on your special day?
Your wedding is already a day of high emotion, and the absence of an important person can be felt deeply in the run-up to the celebration, especially if you have lost a parent or close friend recently. For many couples, making space to honour those who can't be there is an important part of planning their wedding day - it's a way to acknowledge your loss and invite guests to share in your memories, making sure that those who can't be there are still a part of your celebration.
Honouring deceased loved ones is a beautiful way to acknowledge their influence and impact on your life, as well as the legacy they leave behind. It means that their memory and love will have a tangible place in your wedding celebration, which can be a great comfort to bereaved relatives. In addition to this, honouring those special people offers a lovely opportunity to share the love and connection you had with them, all of which makes for a much more meaningful and personal wedding experience.
Ways to honor lost loved ones at your wedding
From a low-key nod to a more obvious visual memorial, there are lots of ways to pay tribute to an absent friend or family member on your wedding day, but don't feel like you should be doing any one thing in particular - the choice you make here is an incredibly personal one. The most important thing is that whatever you do feels right and is meaningful to you. Here are some of our favourite ways to ensure that absent loved ones have a physical presence at your wedding.
Incorporate their favourite flowers
If you don't want to make a big show of your memorial, why not incorporate your loved one's favourite flowers into your wedding bouquet or buttonholes? We've even heard of couples using flowers from a departed loved one's garden as a special tribute!
Another popular way to pay tribute with your flowers is to tie a miniature framed photo around your wedding bouquet with ribbon - that way, you'll have a poignant reminder of your loved one close by all day. If you're looking for a way to honour someone privately and without fanfare, then your wedding flowers might just be the perfect choice.
Play their favourite song
Paying tribute to your departed loved ones through music is a timeless way to include them in your special day, and with music featuring so heavily in most weddings, you'll have plenty of moments to choose to honour them. Whether you want to walk down the aisle to the same music they had at their wedding or have your first dance to their favourite song, the choice is yours.
The loss of the Father of the Bride can be felt especially keenly on the wedding day - the special moments that are traditionally reserved for father and daughter can be emotional for everyone. Using his favourite music in those moments can be a touching tribute and a lovely way to feel his presence - walking down the aisle to his favourite song or using it to invite everyone to the dance floor in place of the traditional father-daughter dance can be a meaningful way of keeping his memory alive.
Serve their favourite food and drink
Food can be a powerful memorial - what better way to honour absent loved ones than to serve their favourite food? You could even go one better and incorporate their recipes into your big day. Serve up your Grandma's famous chocolate cake, your Dad's favourite wine, or Uncle Bill's signature cocktail! Or why not use their favourite sweets as wedding favours? Food and drink is a lovely, lighthearted way to pay tribute to your loved ones and is a great talking point for people to share their own memories, too.
Create your own memorial table
A memorial table can be a really creative way to ensure the people you've lost are physically present at your wedding and is especially lovely if you want to honour more than one person. There are many ways you could approach this, but a good start is to choose some framed photos or a photo album to display, giving guests something to look through. You could display flowers alongside, and feel free to add a meaningful family heirloom or two.
Perhaps you'd also like to take a quiet moment to light a unity candle during your wedding ceremony, which could stay alight throughout your wedding reception on the memorial table. There is no right or wrong here - any one of these ideas would be a lovely way to honour loved ones who can't be at your wedding, but remember that ultimately, this is a day for celebrating your love story, and any tribute or memorial shouldn't completely overshadow that. It's all about striking a delicate balance between finding the appropriate way to pay tribute to that special person (or people) whilst maintaining the celebratory atmosphere of your special day. The best thing you can do is to lean into what feels right for you as a couple - whether that's simply saying a few words in a speech or creating a beautiful memory table for everyone to enjoy.